Here I am at the edge

Pay up is here  Another month with NO royalties I am hoping I get the royalties I am owed by Draft2Digital this month, but the reality is I probably won't. Once I get the royalties I going to take my ebook stock off the site, then forget I decided to use the site. When I began they were good, but now they are using dubious business practises to get out of paying writers the royalties they have earned.

 Caravan to Vaccares I have seen many films based on Alastair Maclean books. I have seen the majority of films based on a book by Alastair MacLean , though some were confusing the story held my attention. Until today, in my opinion the worst was Golden Rendezvous , which is about a group of wealthy people who hie a liner and turn it into a floating casino. After tonight, there is a new bottom placed film, the only saving grace for Caravan to Vaccares is the featuring of actress Charlotte Rampling , and two other actresses who I consider attractive in minor roles.

 A Paperback Possibility A Bargain buy I am considering bring out my award -winning ebook https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B008BEDMSO/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i14   in paperback form. At £2.00 for over 150 pages, the book is a true bargain. If I did, this would nean both of my collaborations with my friend, Julia, in Seattle , will be in paperback .

 If you now something is wrong are you bound to do something? If you know something is wrong or dangerous, or both are you bound to act on your perceptions? In this case, I refer to the trend on YouTube for young lady "farmers," for claiming thieir husbands are lost in the junlge just to get viewers for their channels. This is like the story of the boy who cried wolf, one day a person maybe lost, and in danger, but nobody will take notice because of the trend. Should YouTube step in and block this trend? In my view, the answer is yes. I dispute they are farmers as they have thousands of pounds worth of camera to show what they are selling.

 A Warning about dubious sales practises Last night, two writers  posted on the blog a thank you note for the warnings I posted about Draft2Digital 's dubious pracises, and why I don't use Smashwords ; the two companies are now one and the same. This is why I am only using KDP , I may not have had many ebook sales on Amazon , but I have not had any in the last decade on D2D, and they have withheld my royalties now for seven months. I doubt I will see them before the end of August, once I get it, if I do, I am going to take my ebooks off the site. If people wish to read my writing, judging from the amount of FREE Downloads from my stock that have gone out, I am very popular; people can pay me for my time; especially as I don't ask a lot.

 Market Target A New Direction For me, Aliyah marked a change in my writing . Until then, I had not written a book with a market focus, this book was aimed for a market in Israel ; to my mind, that is the main reason it has failed to sell, though their is growing support for the state in the west the media still considers Israel as the opponent to freedom. This is ironic as she is the smallest state in the Arab world, and the only Christian state in a Muslim world. The media twists Isreal's defence of her lands into accusations of her attacking the Arab world, if that WAS the case, Israel would have succomed hundreds of years ago, if not longer. History shows she almost did get conquered, Yom Kippur, the day of Jewish Attonement, 1973 was the closest the Arabs came to a victory, and it was only stopped by the reluctance of an officer in the army of Syria , A Syrian tank regiment had scaled the Golan Hieghts , and was poised to take the vital link to the capture of the state; if ...

 Vietnamese YouTubers There is a trend on YouTube that should be stopped, not encouraged as the site is doing. The trend is for young ladies claiming to be substistance farmers  that is a lie apart from anything else, I don't know any farmer who can spare nearly £2, 000 on cameras; the farmer s I knew lived on their overdraft. This years profits, if they got any, paid off some of last years overdraft. Farmers hate the Hunt  as much as anyone, one hunt going through their field is enough to ruin the business . The trend I am on about is for the young ladies to "claim" their husbands have walked out on them, to get more viewers/ subscribers for thier channels. The question is what if a husband did get lost in the jungle? Nobody would do anything, they'd assune it is another trick to get viewers, when the man could be in danger.

 Do you wish me to go on with my Short Story collection? What is the point? I won't be bring out another ebook , there is no point when they are been sent out like sweets at Halloween . The next question is should I carry on with the blog ? I have a short story , several in fact, I could continue, but with a post onlt read by at the most seven people, what is the point in going on?

 Less Free time Some advice for writers, quit, before you lose your sanity! Yes, I am cynical, wouldn't you be if you found your writing is being given away as if the time you spent didn't matter? That IS what is happening with the advent of LENDING LIBRARIES . Anyway, it is none of my business now. Now, I no longer care about ebooks and writing, I am catching up on another hobby, I enjoyed before I took to writing - cooking . I have taken over the cooking for the family, and they love the experience of me experimenting with various herbs in the food . I am also making changes to my room, with the need for a space for my computer, I needed to get rid of a large corner cupboard, and that job tired me out for two days. The games I hope to play are Tropico and Cities . As I enjoyed the third game in the Thief series, I was happy when a new version came out a several years ago, I tried the demo at Game in Cribbs Causeway , in Bristol . I had a short play as the person at...

A Diffferent Life One genre I have ignored writing for is the life of the wealthy. There is a good reason for this, I have no idea where to begin, or where to go if i did start a story. This type of story I consider beyond my ability as a writer, not because I might find it too hard to write about, but I have no idea of their lifestyle. I cannot imagine a life at the top, where money is no problem and sexy ladies drool when I walk by. Not that I'd be interested if it did happen; thereby hangs a story on its own. If I can't imagine the story, how can I write it?

 Dad is Cooking! To clarify a few items. My cooking is not that bad that the family fear me cooking . On the contrary, my family enjoy my cooking. My title refers to what our youngest said a few years ago, she said, "I can tell when Dad is cooking the house smells of garlic ." True, I love garlic, I have for years, I prefer cooking with garlic oil than fat. It doesn't only taste better, my opinion, but the garic juices improve the health of your immune system . Vampires . If you see this ebook, and think of   The Twilight Saga  as your image of a vampire, this book is NOT for you. My concept of a vampire could not be further from the sexy image portrayed sinc the days of Hammer Horror films. My image of the vampire is based closer to the gothic idea portrayed in Nosferatu , the classic film from 1920s Germany . People forget, the orignal concept of the vampire was a creature of revulsion, which is why so many people supposed to be a vampire, were buried under a ...

  Online but is it me? Most people these days have an online presence, but who can say is there? If you read this blog , you assume as it's created by me, I am using it, but am I? For all you know, I could have given access to a friend; someone could have hacked it, strange, but not out of this world. After all, why would somebody wish to hack my blog as it is not that popular? I could be anywhere, assuming it is me using the blog. There some posts on Facebook years ago, warning users about messages siad to be from friends, but from hackers. If someone has known you, even for a short time, they would know what you write, and how you write. Anything out of the unusual would raise a red flag. I had an istance of that several years ago, someone I briefly knew sent someone else I knew vaguely, an email supposedly from me. The recipient, wisely, contacted me. We knew it wasn't from me, the sender was in a row on a writing site we frequented at the time, and he was causing arguments...

  How do you define missing? Watching a video on YouTube a few moments ago raised a valid question with me. The video is about a lady who claims her husband is missing, but how do you define missing ? If someone is not seen, for some reason, does that mean they are missing? I thought about this last year; I asked myself, when was the last time our neighbours saw me? I spend most of my time indoors, so if they were asked, could the say the last time they saw me?

 The advent of Pantycam While I have been watching video footage from the Far East , it is obvious to me, many of the ladies involved are after viewers on YouTube  by showing thier better aspects. Facts of life, men will watch a young girl pick flowers, the young are best suited for farming .  Some of the girls wear pants so tight if they passes wind it would not get out, and tops so small a girl half her age would struggle to get in, thus her breasts are pushed out to gain viewers. The only thng missing is a pantycam to show the vierews what type of underwear she has on. In the end, YouTube is about money. The questions we need to ask is if these people are so poor, who oays for the cameras they use on the trails, and who pays the crews? The lastest con is about a "missing" husband. About a month ago, a girl got bitten by a snake, that was genuine, after the episode gained sympathy, she and her husband had a talk on how to work this to thier advantage. What if he went m...

 Aruna Irani and Reena Roy Last night, I was watching this film about a pair of twins, played by Rekha , who swap identities to track the man who tried to kill one of them. In the film I was looking for an actress I like called Reena Roy , but I couldn't see her. It was only when I checked the cast list on IMDb I saw the errors of my ways; the lady I should have recognised is another favorite of mine from Bollywoood , Aruna Irani . Once I knew the error of my ways, the identifaction of the actress made sense.

 An Ongoing Project I would like to clear a matter up before I go on, if I could buy the films I am going to download with subtitles , I would do so, but as I can't I am left with few options. It isn't as if I am downloading new films either, most of the ones I am attempting to download are at least 20 years old, and in sevral cases over 30 years old. The films I am downloading are from India , most will be pre-1988; why? The reason is films from that era, do not feature Shahrukh Khan , an actor I cannot abide, and also most of the films have music but the music is part of the story, not visa-versa as the post SRK films have become. I realise every country produces films featuring its best actors and actresses, but with the Khans - I include his namesake Salman Khan  - the films made in India are centred on these men, and their singing. I have seen them in films, and as actors they do little for me. Another namesake is Aamir Khan I admit, at first I didn't like him as an ...

 The result is a success Before disclosing my findings, I rhink there is need for a few matters to be defined, in order for you to understand both me, and the aims of the project. Last night's sleep - my sleep usually follows a pattern of waking during the night; then going back to sleep early in the morning. The Aim of the project was to see if I could dream, but not think of stories to write. What I plan to do with the results. Last night's sleep (before I woke) was another success for the project; I cannot recall what I had dreams of. The latter part was back to normal for me. I did have a dream I recall. I am calling the project a success because it proved that if I can think of something before I go to bed, I won't have dreams to write about. It is a success, for the second night I had no story to write about, though the latter part of the night I did have a dream I recall, that was this morning not last night. As I recall my dream, but have no plans to go further with...

Life After Writing After chasing a dream for 15 years, I find myself at a loss. I could read, but that makes me weep these days, when I look around and see how many writers got contracts. Without bragging, I know I am better than some. It would be hard to be worse than the writer of Deadwater Fell . I have the opportunity to play some pc games, if I could concentrate. I can download film from India . Last night, I began a new project. The idea of the project is to occupy my mind with thoughts to prevent me from dreaming up stories to write . It is early, but if last night is anything to go by, I will enjoy not dreaming up stories. Last night, my mind was trying to reconstruct the Art Galleries in the Museum I worked in for over a decade. This idea lead to some interesting thoughts on my views on art .

 In Praise of Lending Libraries Yes, I am being sarcastic, and with good cause. Today, I did a rough calcualtion in what the FREE LENDING LIBRARIES have cost me; at a rough estimate, if I'd been sent $0.20 cents per ebook which was sent free ; I would have earned nearly four times as much as I did wasting my time trying to sell my ebooks . NOW TELL ME THEY ARE GOOD FOR WRITERS!!!

 I broke it again this month. Three years ago, I should have notified the British Library I had published this paperback . It has been the Law since around 1679. This month, I brought this book out in paperback, and I am not telling them; if they wish they can ask for a copy, but if they haven't asked for my other in three years, I have nothing to worry about.

 Writing for pleasure Where to go?  Why don't I have a comfort zone? I have no preference to what I write ; I saw myself as a writer, not a genre writer. I have areas I will not enter, at any cost. Rough sex is okay - upto a limit - but violent sex is a no-go. I was asked to write a short story for a lady, her remit was an increase in blood for each episode; where would it stop? Cruelty is out of the question, in any form, if that is what you wish then you are looking at the wrong writer for your thrills. Lifestyle Difference. This is not so much a no-go, as I can't write about a life I don't know about, which is funny as the blog in recent times has had an icreasing amount of readers from wealthy areas, such as the UAE (United Arab Emirates), Singapore , and most recently Hong Kong . To flip the coin, I could say they are used to the high-life, so view my down-to-earth style as refreshing. I did turn a contract down several years ago for this reason. The client wanted me ...

  Now I have your attention The Joke is on me Earlier this week, I wondered if my latest ebook "The Awakening" would be the last I put for sale; today I have the answer - YES. The reason is with so many FREE READING sites, there is no point in trying to sell my work, so if you wish to read what I write; you have this blog to read.

 I could have sold twice as much I wish I'd left my curiosity at the happy stage with knowing I'd get paid. I checked to see how many FREE EBOOKS of mine had been issued, to find Barnes & Noble issued to FREE ebooks for every sale - no wonder I struggle to sell. 😢😢😢

 I may get my royalties now On the positive side, the two sales yesterday - one from Apple , the other from Kobo - took my royalties over the $10 minimum for automatic payment from Draft2Digital , meaning I will be paid now for my ebook sales for the last seven months. I only got these sales because I bought the books 📚📚 to get over the minimum payment level, if I hadn't I doubt I'd have had any royalties thanks to lending libraries. If I had 20 cents for each book they got sent FREE, I could have earned nearly four times as much as I made trying to sell my ebooks 😔😔 On the negative, as it usually takes a few weeks for the funds to get to D2D, it could be another month before I see the money; at least I know some is on its way.

 Kindle Library Looking through my Kindle library, I see I have ebooks from several writers I used to know; this got me wondering how many have an ebook from me? I would estimate less than 5%, at the most, closer to less than 1% if I was being truthful.

 How about Steampunk Sex? What a choice! Most people associate Steampunk with elobroate Victorian machinery, but the term covers anything from the Age of Steam , which includes fashion . I had thought, for a long time ,of continuing my Steampunk story which I stopped writing after about 50 pages. Why did I stop? I stopped because like so many of my ebook selection, I thought there would be no sales, and the story, like an airship , kept expanding. Recently, I toyed with the idea of writing sex stories ; they always stock the book stores, even if I don't always approve of the covers used, there again, I come from an age of decency that passed into the history books like the dinosaurs. Then, I thought, why not combine both and write a steampunk sex story, as there are lots of attrictive ladies dressed in the steampunk fashion .

 The Unseen Crew If you go on a cruise , I would not these days with so many fires and breakdowns, you should recall that while the ship's officers are seen by the passengers; it is the unseen crew who run the ship.  Somebody I once knew said something which is very true, he said "A Captain is only as good as his crew will let him be." After all, who does run the ship? It isn't the officers in their finery, the stokers, who sweat down blow so the ship has power who run the ship. If they go on strike, you can have the best crew, but without power the ship won't move. It was the same during World War 2 , while the pilots, navigators and aircrew got the praises they deserved, a lot of the time it wa the ground crew who kept the aircraft flying, often with unorthodox means such as chewing gum.

 How to waste money                    This post in about work in the 1990s You will see what I mean about some museums wasting money - as I mentioned in the post -  The Beauty of Steam - I was working in Bristol City Museum at the time of this post. I was transporting a painting with Francis Greenacre from the store to the Modern Art display on the first floor, I looked at the painting, and said, "How much did you pay for this painting, Francis?" He replied, "7, 000 pounds, Alan." I looked closer at what I was holding, and commented, "You ARE joking!" "No, that is what we paid." What was I holding? A picture of a beautiful lady, a bird in flight, no. I was holding a 4 feet by 8 feet piece of matt white hessian. I glanced at the painting, and made a ball park estimate. Using the price guide of the time, I reckoned the painter's costs to be £100 at the utmost. To give that some perspective, at the time, that was about eight mon...

  An age when men had pride in their work. I am geting old I am getting rid of my steam engine s, I've had them since I was about five. In those days people had time to build the tracks, and watch as the engines went around. These days there isn't the space to lay out the tracks, and people don't have the time to spend doing it. I did consider selling the items on eBay , but I took a look at them today - they wouldn't survive the journey, and p&p would be extertionate. I'm not after the money, if I thought they'd go to someone who cared I'd be happy; that is why I considered donatating them to the Bristol Industrial Museum .  I can't bring myself to put them in the bin, they remind me of my childhood, in Yorkshire,  though not good it had nice times. The problem is Bristol City Museum only accepts financial donations, and I am not sure, if I had the money I'd feel happy giving it to them as I have seen some of the wasteful ways they spent donati...

 7 months without royalties from Draft2Digital Things have to be better I checked my accoint with Draft2Digital  a few minutes ago, to my horror I haven't recieved royalties in nearly SEVEN MONTHS . I thought it might have been SIX MONTHS , but I haven;t recieved anything since a week before Christmas,

 The war is over If I am honest, I knew the fight was lost almost a decade ago. Yes, not long after I was awarded a certivcate, and medal for excellence, in 2012. My work was sabotaged by a writer I knew at the time. After that, I realised I would not recover, and the damage done never healed, even after this time. Some people have said she was jealous because I won an award, and she never. Others said she did what she did because she spent a lof time running me down online, and winning the award showed her up. Whatever the reason, she did her best to ruin me, and suceeded. My award-winning book crashed and died on Amazon ; and never got out of the wreckage. I had a little run of fortune in 2014 with my science fiction series, but that only lasted a few months. Since 2014, I have been "spinning my wheels" as fans of Monster Truck derbies would say.

 A Poisoned Chalice I was going to say, I've not tried my hand at Medieval Fantasy . The truth is I did, several years ago, and like everything I write ; it died a death of a thousand blows.  The Poisoned Chalice could desribe my mentality at the moment. When the bleakness of depression seeps into your soul , only a miracle can bring you into the light. Unfortunately, after figthing for over a decade to climb out; I have given up the struggle. What is the point of fighting  something which nas no will to live, other than to destroy your faith ? The miracle I hoped for was some ebook sales, but as a self-published author , I was fighting against the odds from the start. In the end, even a punch-drunk boxer realises he's lost the fight. If you haven't heard the term punch-drunk, it means to go for the sake of fighting, like Rocky did in Rocky 3 . You know you've lost, but you are so beaten you won't give up.

 15 years in a Writer's life I can liken my life as a writer to a Tom and Jerry cartoon. If you recall your cartoon s, there was one were Tom was after a lady puss, and  his rival was choppping the laddder down that he was using to climb to her window. That is how I feel the last 15 years have been for me as a writer . Another analogy is it's been like climbing a ladder in quicksand, the more I climbed it seems the more I had to climb.

 No ISBN needed Because I use Google Play  as my ebook selling site, there is no need for me to keep using Draft2Digital to get an ISBN number for my books . Google have their own recognised codes.

 Restricted sales You would be foolish to use Draft2Digital You could say, I am cutting my throat by not using Draft2Digital , but as the site is absorbing more FREE LENDING libraries, there is no way I am going to see any royalties from those site, so what have I to lose? In the last decade only two sites, Apple (May 2023), and Google Play (June 2023) have sold ebook s for me.

 Not only Indians Indian Cinema I have written a lot about the cinema in India in recent posts; this may lead you to think I have excluded other actresses who are not from India; this is not the case as I have no preference to race or religion. My likes are based on my views of the ability of the people involved. A good exaple of this is if a person has the surname Khan , there is a strong possibility there family came from North India bordering Afghanistan at some point, Khan mean king. It is a common surname in several parts of Northern India. There is no link to the religion of the stars I like, most I consider Hindu as it is the most common laguage in India, but there are other languages almost as equally spoken.

 Stingray Gerry Anderson This is a sign of our age, my wife and I were watching a beachcomer video on YouTube a few minutes ago. The young lady in the video picked up a large grouper fish, and my reaction was it's like the underwater vessel used by the baddies in the cartoon series Stingray  by Gerry Anberson . He was in demand long before the success of Thunderbirds ; many of today's filmakers owe a lot to him for deveolping a new way to move puppets.

The after effects of an incident at school This photo of me (dark sweater) was taken several years before the event I am mentioning. An incident which happened during my school days, has in recent years goven rise to the concept of a sex story set years later, as the older Alan is reminded of that day in school by a phone call from one of the ladies. The incident I mentioned happened when I was about 11, I was enclosed in a group of four young ladies I used to know. Being young, my only thought was escape. I didn't think much of the incident over the years, I never forgot it, I just didn't think about it as it was in the past.  Several years ago, the idea of writing a story about what may have happened came to my mind; the story would be set as a reminder of what the girls may have wished had happened all those years ago, or perhaps it is my wish as an older man.  

 Amazon and Google Play from now on You read the title of the post correctly. You may ask, what has turned me against a company I used to expound the virtues of, the answer is disreputable business practices. Draft2Digital and Smashwords are one and the same. Three years ago, I had four sales on Smashwords, and to this day, I have NOT been paid for the sales; the same is happening now on Draft2Digital, I am waiting for the royalties from sales of my ebook s from over three months ago, and I am sure I will be waiting for a lot longer - if I get them - to see my money. I am using only Amazon and Google Play from now on; I can hear the argument, but you haven't sold on Amazon for a long time. Well, in that case there is nothing to loose, as my last sale on Draft2Digital was over four years ago, despite their growing  empire, so what have I to lose? I sold only eight ebook on Google in three years, not a lot, but it compares well with the ZERO sales from Draft2Digital in the...

  My Luxury item Several years ago, I came in for a windfall, my pension payout from 15 years of working for Bristol City Council  allowed me to fullfil a few wishes.  One of which was to buy a professional designed book cover, instead of using images from my days as a photographer .  I bought the cover on this post from Selfpub Book Covers  for $250, and then realised my only luxury item was going to quickly turn into a millstone around my neck. I'd advise self-published writers against using the site, unless you can guarantee mass sales for your book, In the ensuing years, my book has only sold three copies.

 Expansion Pack It is strane how we percieve news. I had an email this morning that Draft2Digital had expanded, and bought SelfPub Boook Covers . On reading this news, my first thought was of an image I was used to seeing in school of the old Russian Empire , it was seen as an evil octopus spreading its tentacles across the globe. I have used the sire, once, they do great covers, but for Self-Published writers , I would advise against using them, unless you have a guarantee of mass sales. I bought a cover six years ago for $250 dollars, a price I will not live to see recoveerd as that ebook has only sold three copies in the time since I bought the cover.

 Collaboration This collaboration with my friend, Julia, in Seattle , has come to its fruition. For now, Draft2Digital is the best choice for the ebook ; I am having difficulty loading the whole book onto Amazon. If you prefer the 150-page paperback, it is available from Amazon for the bargain price of $7.00.

An Amazon Bargain   This is a bargain book      https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CCCSHRBN/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= . 150 pages for only $7.00. £5.50 if you are in the UK    https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CCCSHRBN/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=