Here I am at the edge

 The war is over If I am honest, I knew the fight was lost almost a decade ago. Yes, not long after I was awarded a certivcate, and medal for excellence, in 2012. My work was sabotaged by a writer I knew at the time. After that, I realised I would not recover, and the damage done never healed, even after this time. Some people have said she was jealous because I won an award, and she never. Others said she did what she did because she spent a lof time running me down online, and winning the award showed her up. Whatever the reason, she did her best to ruin me, and suceeded. My award-winning book crashed and died on Amazon ; and never got out of the wreckage. I had a little run of fortune in 2014 with my science fiction series, but that only lasted a few months. Since 2014, I have been "spinning my wheels" as fans of Monster Truck derbies would say.

 A Poisoned Chalice I was going to say, I've not tried my hand at Medieval Fantasy . The truth is I did, several years ago, and like everything I write ; it died a death of a thousand blows.  The Poisoned Chalice could desribe my mentality at the moment. When the bleakness of depression seeps into your soul , only a miracle can bring you into the light. Unfortunately, after figthing for over a decade to climb out; I have given up the struggle. What is the point of fighting  something which nas no will to live, other than to destroy your faith ? The miracle I hoped for was some ebook sales, but as a self-published author , I was fighting against the odds from the start. In the end, even a punch-drunk boxer realises he's lost the fight. If you haven't heard the term punch-drunk, it means to go for the sake of fighting, like Rocky did in Rocky 3 . You know you've lost, but you are so beaten you won't give up.