Here I am at the edge

No great desires in life  I had a small bucket list at one time; I managed to complete some of my wishes. I returned to Southampton https://hereiamattheedge.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-queens-leave-home.html , several years ago. Shortly after that, I had a last trip to Cheltenham https://hereiamattheedge.blogspot.com/2017/10/one-last-trip-to-cheltenham.html . I had several stories printed in anthologies , mainly for a charity I used to write for, but I never had a book printed in my name by a publisher . The only books I had published were self-published . In my teens I had a short story published in a magazine in the UK ; being young , I never got paid for my writing . I did get paid for some photographs I took at a  festival in Shropshire many years ago.

 Living the simple life I have never been a man who had to keep up with the latest trend . If I had a trend, it was that unless I saw the purpose for upgrading an item, the upgrade was unnecessary. A good case for this is the change of phone I had put upon me. My children considered that as my previous phone was over 10 years old, I should have a new one. I could have changed my phone several times, but as it was doing what I requrited, I saw no need for change. I used to get great enjoyment in going for a walk, these days, I get enjoyment listening to the birds. My greatest enjoyment in recent times was coming face-to-face with a fox. I didn't see the killer that the hunting fraternity would have believe; I saw an animal afraid we would hurt - nothing could be further from my mind. While some people upgrade their computers, I am happy with a sinple laptop, my requiremnts for a laptop do not need a high-powered performer as I don't play PC games these days. If I did, the type ...

 I am not a Puritan. I am not against drinking in moderation, nor am I against smoking. I don't gamble, but I used to until about 35 years ago.  I gave up smoking for the sake of our children, and I gave up drinking alcohol after an embarrassing moment on a bus home many years ago.  My wife and I have never been one for taking holidays, we far prefer a data out in this area as there is a lot to enjoy. To some people, it would appear we lead a Puritanic life; we don't it's that we prefer to take care of our money; these days, with air strikes and companies leaving travelers stranded when they go bust, a holiday at home is relatively safe. Money is not the root of my happiness; being content with your lot gains more pleasure; I have said often some of the unhappiest people I have known are those chasing money as they never appear to reach their goal.

The simple life Although some of the series I watch like Jordskott are creepy at times, they give me a respite from a shrinking world that is beyond my reach now. My only relief is watching foreign films and television series    https://disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/foreign_films/ . I am a man of simple needs and would be happy to live a simple life in Italy .

My BFF will always be with me. The two things I need most now are the time to get into writing a story, and a short respite vacation to get over the loss of my Best Furry Friend. I can afford a short break, I do not get a substantial allowance for my disability, but then again I do not spend a lot.

Psychiatric therapy Some time ago, I asked my doctor about having me sanctioned as I considered I was becoming mentally unbalanced with the stress from my stepson and the constant abuse I suffer - this was months before the added stress of the fire - he thought I wasn't a risk, so he told me to forget the idea.  At the same time, I considered the controversial procedure of lobotomy. I know there is a high risk of personality damage, but with the way my personality is going, I think the risk could be worth the rewards of not being plagued by self-doubt.

Quote from the 16th Century John Bradford 's quote is my credo I may not have the best of health but some years ago I learned to be grateful for what I have. I have always been a man of simple pleasures ; I'm perfectly happy with a bag of fish and chips sitting on the dock watching the waves, I don't need a lot of money to be happy - mainly because I never had a lot money. Years ago, before I almost died in my sleep, I learned to accept what I had and enjoy what the Lord had given me. I knew sooner or later I would end up in a wheelchair, but I was determined to fight the battle to the last and I am still fighting - ten years on. My health is declining by the day but I apprecite that many people never lived as long as me, for what health I have I am grateful. Fighitng the battle has enabled me to visit Lac La Biche , in     Canada  and return to Scarborough one last time.

The Simple Life I qualify for a State Pension (66).  Though this will entail cutbacks in my spending, I will not be significantly affected as most of the things people do to relax I gave up many years ago. Though I went to Canada many years ago, I never had any great urge to travel abroad. If I did wish to travel, there are lots of places in England I would have liked to have seen.  I never had a driving license, so I don't need to worry about the upkeep of a car. I recently cut back on my drinking of both Coke-a-cola and coffee for the good of my health, and the benefits were seen quickly. I have never had a lot of money, so I get pleasure from doing things that I can enjoy for little expense such as I used to like walking in the woods, and by rivers enjoying nature , like the hero of my ebook above. I had a friend in Canada, whose mental health  would concern me if we had stayed in touch, all she did was preach to me about the sins of the world, and that Jesus will ...