Here I am at the edge

Here it is, the book which took a year to complete. The erotically charged romantic ghost story of Jannine and Helmut. The latest news on ASL is that it is in line for the same award Chronicles of Mark Johnson  was awarded two years ago. https://www.draft2digital.com/book/34522

Interest in my writing In the past, if somebody had asked where can I buy my ebooks,  I would have felt a surge of excitement, but over a decade of false hope of ebook sales going nowhere. I am now down to a state of ennui - if it happens, it happens. I know I can write a novel as I did it three years ago, but the point is, why dedicate days and weeks to  writing a book that no one wishes to read?

To my way of thinking I have gone down hill fast over the last year. While Julia, my editor, is pleased my blog gets over 200 readers a day. The crux of the matter is that I usually put out 7 or 8 blogs. This brings the average readership down to below 30 per blog. Even a teen chatting about TV or cinema gets more than that.  My writing has suffered badly too -- not that you care -- as I am struggling to complete a short anthology piece, of a length I could turn out four time a week before. I don't consider bloging as writing, to me it's little better than Tweeting and as destructive to the creative mind. These days we blog, whereas in olden days they wrote letters. I wonder if in years to come our blogs will be read in the same way, as people read letters by Proust or George Elliot these days.

Two strangers met on a hill  The first man said, "A lovely view from the top of the hill." The second said, "What do you mean the top? I've just come down." Such is the case this month, while to me it has been a great month in selling ten e-books, to many fellow writers this would be classed a disastrous event.

It is nice to feel wanted after a long time feeling unwanted. Tonight a new friend asked when my books would my books be for sale?  From now on my books are for sale at   https://www.draft2digital.com/book/   if you're unsure of a story, please feel free to ask. My new friend is a fellow Yorkshire man and a former mariner, and he is also a ghost story fan. 

  A few days ago this was released on Amazon, I don't advise you to get this copy as it won't be as well edited as the Draft2Digital version, which I hope to issue by the end of the month.  Why distribute inferior work to Amazon, you say?  The answer lies with the facts that first of all with having books on the retail giant for years which have not sold - why should I bother with them? And also, I no longer care what happens to my ratings, the books never sell on there. They are as useful to me as Kobo.  In over three years discounting Holding Richmond I have sold about 30 books and seen only $11.Out of the sales of books deduct 13 for Nerja and 11 for Did we see him? and you can see why I left the site.  As I stated a few days ago, this is (!) my last book on Amazon, so, why should I care if it rockets or bombs out?  D2D is not the reason for leaving Amazon, as previously I was willing to sell my work through Paypal via my blog as early as the beginning of 2012. The

For a good portion of my life, I lived with the nagging thought I might have been able to write stories people enjoyed reading but life got in the way until a few years ago, when I became disabled.  I had to give it a try after all the years of doubts and found I had the talent, if not the learning to fulfil at least part of the wish. I now stand at the same point with my latest, or is it last book.  What if I don't finish editing it and don't release it after all the time and effort I put in. Would it be wasted effort? What if I did release the book and it failed?  What would I do after yet another failed attempt to please the readers?  Would anybody other than one or two special friends really care? What if I don't release it and it could have got my work noticed? But I denied myself the chance.

July 2011 and I am laid in bed with a torn tendon, unable to move I start to write Chronicles of Mark Johnson for some friends. My intention was to give them some pleasure in reading a fantasy story written by somebody they knew, and I did. At this time, I was writing three of four 3,500 to 5,000 word stories a week, to the extent my friends asked me to stop before I burned out. Travel forward to today, I have been given the chance to win a second award with a new story and have another in a big contest in Canada and yet, I have trouble getting the urge to finish a short 3,000 word short story for an anthology I was thinking of sending work too -- and being paid -- not much but anything is better than nothing.  As is my usual, I am on the point of talking myself out of sending the work, not because I think its below me to have work in anthologies but I have done it before and seen no reward.

In my wisdom -- no laughing at the back, please -- I decided to try a new genre for me. I don't have many left, so, you can say I'm clutching at straws, or drawing the corking from the boat. Be that as it may. Before now, I have not openly written a teen-romance. Today I decided to revisit my old files to try and re-kindle my fires and came across a story I wrote a year ago for a friend's blog. 

 In the story of the longest book I wrote, another chapter was written, not in the book -- yet -- but about its formation. Last week, my good friend and editor, Julia, suggested I put the book down for a few months and come back to it with a fresh mind to re-edit it. At the time, I said "If I put it down, I may never pick it up again as it's taken too much out of me."  True to my words, I put it on the screen to edit and all I feel for what was my great achievement is "Am I doing the right thing?"  After over a year's graft and with still close to 100 pages to edit, this story has gone into the realms of getting to the point where I am sickened by the sight of it. This could be the book which makes me and brings my work to readers -- if it sells -- on the other hand, if it fails, this may well be the book of my epitaph. Over the year, I have grown to love the characters I created and the lives they lived in the book. Even now, I am changing the sto

Of all the places I would have chosen to visit,  I admit Canada came low on the list.  My impression of Canada was it was too French in nature, and to some extent it still remains that way. You ask any non-Quebec resident about the people living in that area and the verdict is the same, they are an arrogant group. However, as I was too find out, not all Canadians are like that and the further West, the less the influence of the French gets. To the point a few years ago, many of the provinces objected strongly to adopting the language in schools. Many of the Western areas are populated by East European peoples, my late friend Faye' had relatives in Austria as her maiden name was Schloss.  As you can see from the picture I took at our house in Lac La Biche' we had the pleasure of the countryside on our doorstep. We were visited by squirrels, blue jays, chickadees and even a bear cub. I had never felt so at peace as those last months of Faye's life in 2009, to be

This month at Draft2Digital   https://www.draft2digital.com/book/    a new star is rising. Out of the six sales so far, three have been for "Forgestriker."   Yet again D2D prove to be a great asset as they already have a 3-1 lead in sales over Amazon and a huge difference in royalties earned. In the first week I have earned almost half of the $10 needed to get a cheque, on Amazon it would take me all year to get this much.  Don't forget the story started with  "Sons of Baal" and with the great interest shown in my Sci-Fi series the story will continue in "Return of the Lost." 

Yesterday I said I felt like a marathon runner who enters the final lap. Today, I feel like Ron Clarke in Mexico. He competed in the 10,000 metre race and nearly died, after leading as he entered the final lap his legs and heart gave out and he struggled to keep going. Even though he was well ahead, judges could not help outside of urging him and the Kenyans took the medals, as Ron collapsed on the track. He suffered permanent heart problems after the race.

I started out with good intentions but as the time goes on, I find myself getting to the point of not caring about the book. A year has passed and still I find myself going further back with the writing.  A few days ago, I asked was all the time I spend editing and re-editing the book worth it? And at this moment in time, my answer is a firm NO! What was once a joy has now become one more mill stone to drag me down and will probably prove unsaleable like Chronicles.  Is this fatigue and desperation talking, YES. I am worn down and not on form after this venture. I have been told I am a good story teller and my writing has improved greatly and yet I have no proof of this as sales keep bombing.

Two years ago, I was chatting on line to a friend and she said she admired my ability to skip from genre to genre. At the same time I admitted I admired her ability to stay the course for one book. But, in the back of my mind was always the thought, what would happen to me, if I put all the effort in one book and it bummed? This last book has been such a book. Over a year in preparation and the works has left me drained. If this sank, I have no idea what it would do to me.  Julia, my editor, says I should put it down for another couple of weeks and come back with a clearer mind. While I know she is right, my concern is if I did that I may never pick it up again.

   Happy Anniversary- ETA Feb 8th  Yes, hard as it is to believe, it is almost a year since I started to change a 1,500 word short into this work of fiction. When I began, I considered 5,000 words a good target but as the characters grew on me, I knew the story needed more depth and that is what has happened. The end total will be close to 38,000 words making this book larger than both Chronicles books put together.  By my estimate the book should be ready in two or three days.   When Julia sent it back for edits -- I won't lie -- I was heart-broken. At the time it had taken almost a year and I hoped for a rest after editing book 2 of Chronicles for several months but Julia was right, the book was not ready for show. I feel like a marathon runner as he crosses the line, with only the final lap to go.  I won't deny it, there were times when I would happily have closed the book and moved on with the book unfinished. Even the hopes of another award were not enough at t

 Between the rise in popularity of my first story "The Ghost of St. Mary's" and my most read story "The Old Church Ghosts," lies a little read story of a lost cargo and a foolish captain who haunts the sea around Scarborough. The story is fiction but the storm at the end is recorded in the RNLI annals.  As with all my books it is available @  https://www.draft2digital.com/book/

Last night's sale of Holding Richmond took my all book rating to a month high. Imagine what would happen for a double sale LOL

    Older readers will recognise the face which thrilled us in the 70s. The face is Darren McGavin and the series was Kochak: The Night Stalker.  It was the portrayal of the lonely and misunderstood news hound who tracked demons in Chicago's alleys which inspired me to the series as did the creation of my alter ego Mark.  Like Carl Kolchak, Phil Moore works in a dark and dust atmosphere which comes into play later in book 3, when strange things begin to happen.  Although not as visual as any of the others, Phil's role as Mark's best friend and contact with the outside world is vital to the series. Mark and he go back to their college days -- even if they did separate for a while -- when Mark went on a sojourn to Australia and Phil was contacted by P A Canella about some strange items.  In books 2 & 3 we come across all types of wonderful weapons and it is Phil's task to keep Mark in one piece. While his mind goes deeper into the darker regions of his soul

We hid in the shadow of the fires, watching as the Firemen tore the shelves down and came out carrying armfuls of books. Once in a while, one would fall on the ground unnoticed, except by our group. Tears flowed as we watched our beloved reading go up in smoke. The blackened pages rising like sparks of genius in the dark skies aglow with the hope, someday we would be free to read again. For the moment, we had to stay out of sight and watch for the missed books. What they couldn’t carry out was being burned inside and we were able to view the carnage at close hand. The heat became so intense it cracked the glass and melted the iron shelving but books take a lot before they burn. The dryness of the air was cloying as we forced ourselves to watch the flames devour our passions, never sure if we would be able to freely read. We were lost in thoughts and almost missed the shout, “Move along now, nothing to see hear!” We turned to see who had called out and saw an elderly man carrying

  To you, it's a few dollars and a good read for a few nights. To me, it's the culmination of hours of writing, editing, re-tweaking.  All in the hope that somebody may be kind enough to spare a few nickels and dimes to give me hope to continue.

Next week is the second anniversary of the launch of my Pat Canella series and with a new interest shown on Draft2Digital, I may be enticed to re-write the fourth book I planned in the series which is the high action story in the series.   The series has an interesting and more than spooky history connected to it, if you read the "Haunted" link, you'll see what I mean. The cover on the left is the usual cover on Amazon and the one on the left is the variant which is on Draft2Digital; it is the same story in both covers.

Two days ago I reported that my Amazon best seller "Holding Richmond"   had sold again. I found out yesterday that it hadn't, what I saw on the Amazon chart was a late showing from January 29th.  However, last the situation was saved by the sale of the book and this sale pushed HR to its highest Amazon ranking in eight months.

   This edition of Sea Ghosts available at B&N features only the story "The Lost Ship" which came third in a Facebook contest in 2012.  This is a fictional story based on the real-life Yorkshire pirate John Andrew AKA 'Mad Jack.'  I am using the end of this story as the start of a forthcoming story called "The Rise of the Prospero," which will be a change for me as it is intended to be a horror story. Remember, I have a reputation for writing good ghost stories.

New tonight on Draft2Digital is the hot hit of the on line readers with over 3,000 in only 3 months -- Sexual Explosions -- has a new release away from Amazon

Work is progressing slowly with "A Sailor's Love" but I hope to have it ready for the 14th. A date which is monumental for me, as it is also the date of the final readings for the Sci-Fi contest in Toronto. Editing is a time consuming process -- abated only by knowing you get a small fee, if you do it for somebody -- doing it for yourself raises the question, is the time invested going to be worth it ?

For the the last two months I have kept control of my muse, never letting her flood my mind with new ideas for stories and to a large extent the plan worked, and I was able to get some rest at night. Two weeks ago, I got back into the mood for writing and editing. This enabled the muse to be free think of new ideas as stories unfolded in front of me, and yet, again I pay heavily for the freedom she has. Last night I stopped work at about 2:00 am (GMT) and tried to get some sleep, none came and by 6:00 I had given up the hope of getting to sleep. I resumed work at about 7:00 and have been awake since that time.

The Expanding Store With their latest collaboration Draft2Digital is now selling my ebook selection on 12 platforms, not that it makes a difference. The new store is in the UK.

My best selling book on Amazon "Holding Richmond" racks another sale and moves further ahead of the pack.

  The proposed release date for "A Sailor's Love"   should be the 14th of the this month :)  https://www.draft2digital.com/book/

As time goes by Thoughts about Ganesha My project to curtail my dreams to not trying to think of stories to write is going well; I realize it is only four nights since I began, but I have had no dreams of starting a story. Part of last night's dream were about the Hindu deity, Ganesha , this had nothing to do with thinking about my last ebook    https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Alan_Place_The_Awakening?id=kvDMEAAAQBAJ   which is set in India .  The source is more likely to have been I was looking at some brass car ornaments on a Steampunk page on Facebook .

My books will be run through this link from now on   https://www.draft2digital.com/book/  as I am becoming less reliant on the unreliable services at Amazon.