Make or break?

 In the story of the longest book I wrote, another chapter was written, not in the book -- yet -- but about its formation.

Last week, my good friend and editor, Julia, suggested I put the book down for a few months and come back to it with a fresh mind to re-edit it. At the time, I said "If I put it down, I may never pick it up again as it's taken too much out of me."


 True to my words, I put it on the screen to edit and all I feel for what was my great achievement is "Am I doing the right thing?"  After over a year's graft and with still close to 100 pages to edit, this story has gone into the realms of getting to the point where I am sickened by the sight of it.

This could be the book which makes me and brings my work to readers -- if it sells -- on the other hand, if it fails, this may well be the book of my epitaph.
Over the year, I have grown to love the characters I created and the lives they lived in the book. Even now, I am changing the story as I edit and have come up with a different ending to the one which was previously written and had little to do with my original ending. If you know me, you'll know what is written is rarely what the original idea was.