Here I am at the edge

Typical of Labour, asked a question and refused to answer Jeremy Corbyn was asked FOUR times if he regretted going on Press TV to show his support for Iran , and what a surprise, or not, ask a Labour MP a question and you won't get an answer.

There is only the deafening silence remaining . While I was writing my ebooks for Amazon  and Draft2Digital   I had hundreds of voices wishing to be heard. At times they were deafening, now I have stopped there is peace and silence, but I still have restless nights thinking about new short stories to write.

Affairs of the heart .  Pulsaciones   is the only series where I can understand, in part, why a man with an attractive wife would have an affair; this is because though I don't believe the heart has a memory like a brain it does have feelings. In other series, the only explanation could be that the mistress is willing to do things the wife is not able to do, as in the Spanish series Nit I Dia where the wife is an invalid.

Southmead Hospital There is no news as yet from the hospital of my second biopsy. In one way this is good because they haven't told me I have cancer, but they haven't told me that I don't have one either, and with both the scan and the first biopsy not giving a definitive answer, I am at a loss what to think.

C'est la vie As much as it pains me, and is a large part of my depression , I admitted to myself long ago that no matter what I tried being a writer was not my destiny.

My depression is fuelled by doubt The depression I fight daily is fuelled by the doubts I have about my value as a writer . Not so long ago, I could write a 3,5000 short story in about three hours, now, I have trouble getting even the smallest amount of motivation to begin (though I have many ideas for stories).  The difference is years ago, I believed people would read my writing , now I have lost that belief. I admit the poor sales I get from Draft2Digital do hold me back, but the main drawback is I have no belief in my ability, despite my good friend, Julia, in Seattle , who still believes in me.

There are food banks. The food banks are the result of sending over £55 billion to the EU each year, and immigrants sending another £11 million home annually.  How is this going to change unless we use Brexit ? Labour wants uncontrolled immigration and to remain in the EU, not only will this lead to more food banks and greater austerity, but fewer jobs for UK residents.

There is nothing I can do to change the matter I knew my tack was going to be hard, selling Bollywood movies from the era when actors ruled was never going to be a success . The trend these days is to find a singer who can act a little, and build a musical extravaganza around them, rather than have a few songs in a film. I can't say selling on eBay was pleasant, I came across several sites which left a bad feeling with me.  I went in to the project with the hopes of honest business practices, and leave feeling the world is full of people working a scam . I always said, I live in an age that passed with the dinosaurs, and selling on eBay proved me correct, most of the site is good, but I found I was coming in contac with more scammers the longer I stayed as a seller.

A growing following in the Far East. The largest group of blog readers today are in India .

Too high a price for the set. I enjoy Swedish TV a lot and I was going to send for this set of three DVDs until I checked the price, having to get the set from the USA made each DVD come to £17, a price that I am not willing to pay no matter what the series.

Am I prepared to hear I have cancer? I try to tell myself I am prepared to hear that I have cancer , but am I? I laugh and joke, and view the odds that I may have cancer, but I spent yesterday shaking and sweating which makes me think I am not as prepared for the news as I like to think I am.  Through all my illnesses I have pragmatic, perhaps too pragmatic for my family, that is what scares them the most, but knowing I have cancer could be the last straw.

A vote winner. Rather than giving people free Broadband as Labour propose, a bigger vote winner would be to give the disabled and pensioners free TV licenses as we can't afford to go out.

My choice for Desert Island Discs. En Saga by Sibelius Over the years, I have often wondered what 10 tunes I would pick for  Desert Island Discs . Having a wide range of tastes from classical to jazz makes my choice difficult. Here are some of the possible choices:-

Do the Labour voters win? If the Labour party wins the General Election  they will be faced with numerous issues as they forced two members to leave, and two more have been told not to speak in public. If the unforeseen happens, and they do win, the only way they'll have enough seats to form a government is by joining with the SNP , Plaid Cymru , LibDems , the Green Party ,   and several other minority factions, who is going to vote for a watered-down party that depends on keeping several other parties happy to run the UK ? To add to their worries the SNP have their camp to sort. UPDATE - The Labour Party are so few they are taking on anyone they can to maintain what little hope they have of becoming a third wheel in the system of politics in the UK , behind the Conservatives , and UKIP .

Germany goes back to 1945. At the end of World War 2 , the German financial state was so bad people were taking home wages in barrrows as the Mark was worthless. With the help of the USA , and the UK with loans the situation was allieviated and some stability was ensured; again help from their "enemies" saved Germany from falling into the hands of Communism twice in a century. Again, German arrogance and egotism has brought the country to its knees, only this time there is no saving grace from either the UK or the USA. Angel Merkel 's "open door" policy has flooded the state with millions of Muslims who have no qualifications yet demand food, housing and health care while they only contribute to the rise in crime ; mainly of a sexual nature as they see themselves no longer adiding to Islamic Laws. This situation has only compounded the ongoing crisis caused by the demolition if the Berlin Wall which flooded northern Germany with thousands of East Germans es...

They are NOT the fastest. DPD makes the claim to be the quickest delivery service, if that is so may the Lord help us.  Twice in the last two months they have said they delivered a package that could not be collected, and asked me to pay for a new delivery. Though the scam only cost me £2.00, if you add up all the other customers that use them, it makes a good way to get money quickly, who will complain about losing £2.00?

Save the NHS. To me, the most important task ahead is to Save the NHS , not have the  Festival of Brexit . The NHS was set up in the years after World War 2 by a Labour party that cared for the working-class people who were its supporters, unlike today's Labour party.  The NHS is the pride of Europe, if not the civilized world, that is why we have a Muslim explosion in the UK , ironically as Muslims hate the western values we keep.

Does anyone read this? About a month ago, I did a blog entitled  "Is it worth blogging for 100 readers?"   After that, I went offline for a few weeks as I evaluated my blog and I only returned because I had a surge of readers from the Nederlands followed by a surge from the UAE & Qatar . At the moment, I am blogging to about 20 readers.