Here I am at the edge

In the end, it didn't matter . The old cover for one of my e-books is so apt, today I had the news that I never made the long list for either of the flash fiction writing contests I entered in September, that means I won't have any stories published in another anthology . The burning book symbolizes the last writing I plan to do as the e-books are not selling well on Draft2Digital , and the never sold on Amazon . My hope was to have got my story for the Bath contest published, I never imagined getting published by Reflex Fiction as their contest is international. If I had been published that would have given me some belief my work has some value and given me the drive to continue writing - Que Sera - it wasn't meant to be.

The sleep of the Damned. I may have stopped writing e-books for sale, but that doesn't mean my mind has stopped thinking of stories to write.  My usual night involves three hours of sleep - in 15-minute spells, and hours of trying to get back to sleep while my mind creates weird scenarios for stories.

Halloween means Folklore stories. Halloween is the time of year when people tell ghost stories , so treat yourself and buy some from my short story selection on either Amazon or Draft2Digital , remember my first rep as a writer was for writing enticing ghost stories.

I stopped hoping many years ago. Another year is almost over, and I heard the same promise of sales for my books as I heard for several years, and the same praises for my short story writing, but still no sales. Who do you believe the people who asked where to buy your books or those who did buy your books no matter how few they are? It gets bad when people you once called "friend" lie to you.

January. I had the results back last week from the biopsy, the verdict is that the growth on my kidney is probably not cancer , but I had another blood sample taken to test for some special disorders. The only thing for certain is I have another heart problem.

Welcome readers in the UAE, Oman, and Qatar. I would like to welcome my blog readers from the UAE , Oman, and Qatar to my pages. There is a degree of irony here as these are three of the wealthiest states in the Arab world, and exist in a world I cannot imagine writing stories to appeal to the readers. I know this because while I was on the Upwork writing site, a client asked me to write a story similar to the expensive lifestyle of James Bond . I had no idea where to start as I live in a world closer to that of struggling PI  Harry Palmer , which is why one of the most significant areas of followers is in Russia . I am more at home writing about the struggles of the people than I am in writing about the people who frequent gambling tables, speedboats, and baccarat tables. I thought about writing a spy story that continued on from The Spy who came in from the cold . The days of the old Russia may have passed, but the same players and style are there ...

Welkom to readers in the Nederlands. Tonight I am welcoming the growing number of readers in the Netherlands to my blog. When I was stationed in Germany I used to visit the Netherlands a lot, I enjoyed the cities of Nijmigen, Arnhem , and Amsterdam and I spent an enjoyable week with some American friends in Vollendam . Years ago, I wrote for an online magazine based in Amsterdam. I was also offered drugs while walking across Dam Square in Amsterdam (twice). Needless to say, I turned the offers down.

I need to brush up on my Italian geography. You would think with all the Italian TV series I watch my Italian geographic knowledge would at least be on the good side of moderate but it is not. Of course, I know the location of the main cities such as Rome , Turin ,   and Milan , and as I used to chat with a lady from Bari I know that is.  But I found out recently that there are some cities that I had completely lost track of such as Naples . I was watching Gomorrah and I had the impression that Napoli is high on the right-hand side it is situated low on the left-hand side of the country. Where I thought Naples was there are no major cities close by. The closest is San Marino .

Heads you win, tails I lose. The latest news about my "growth" is that after the biopsy last month, the surgeons are not sure if I have cancer or not, so another biopsy is called for. The surgeon is trying his hardest to avoid having to operate on me because of my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome that would prevent my skin from healing and could lead to high infection risk.  I get the feeling this will come to a choice of either let cancer take its course, or risk the op.