Here I am at the edge

FIFA Street. With the clamor for the new FIFA game coming out, I am reminded that I played FIFA Street in the years before I changed to Pro Evolution Soccer .  One reason I changed is I liked the kit design feature on PES games, the main reason is the balls on FIFA games were doing tricks that no ball would do in real life.

A years delay. Last month, I should have gone to hospital for my annual cancer scan, as I expected with the Coroanavirus outbreak other appointments were put on the back burner.  I am not surprised I didn't have my appointment as after a four-hour scan and two biopsies last year, all the specialist could tell me is I have a growth on my right kidney. If it had been serious I would have been called in, but obviously the growth is not dangerous. My policy is Let sleeping dogs lie . We know I have the growth and as of now notihng is happening. I can see the point of view that it should be taken out, in case something does happen, but I'd rather leave it be- remember the monologue by Stanley Holloway about Albert and the Lion .

Foreign films. I often read that English subtitles are not added to films from Europe, I have found several sites that can provide subtitles. I admit, I can only download the titles to my laptop and they are not added to the films, but it does go some way to helping.

On vacation. A senior moment to laugh at. Last night, I had a dream I was on holiday (that's a laugh in itself), and I was about to complain that the room had been double-booked and was full of senior citizens when I realized they were my age LOL I was talking to our neighbour's daughter not long ago, I joked about the big five-zero (50). A few moments later, I realised were I once considered a lady between 45 - 50 to be a nice mature age, a lady that she is the age to be my daughter now :(  :(

The symptoms fit the diagnosis. I am almost sure I have kidney cancer , too many of the symptoms I have read about fit how I have been feeling.  I could be wrong, but I don't think I am, what puzzles me is that I have had these pains for ages and cancer has caused minimal interference in my health, other than some aches that I had put down to a trapped nerve . If my suspicions are correct, I have triple checked the info on several medical sites, liver cancer is the least of my problems as I may have bone cancer, bone cancer is at the moment incurable.

There is no secret. Many times, I have been asked what the secret to the success of my blog is? There is no secret, the success of my blog I put down to the fact I rarely talk about myself, I will answer most questions if I am asked, but I don't make the blog about me or my e-books as some writers I used to know do. Another part of my success story as a blogger is variety . Several years ago, a German lady I used to chat to, said I was one of the top half-a-dozen bloggers she knew; how things have changed, I hardly write these days.

Depression and Suicide. Project Fear exists, and it has nothing to do with Brexit .  Every year the government tells us there are millions of pounds of unclaimed benefits we should apply for. The problem is that people living on benefits are afraid of losing what little they have, so they don't ask for this money.  Recently, I fought and lost, a battle with the Department for Works and Benefits  because Amber Rudd  made changes to how disabled people are paid our benefits. Even with the help of the Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund, I was unable to win my case. I hate to think how other people get on if the might of the RAF can't win.  This is not a Conservative policy, as I had the same thing happen 20 years ago under a Labour government; in that case, I was fortunate and won, but even so, my family still lost £100s in benefits we should have been paid.

A Rhodesian crime story. The man staggered down the empty street, the hot sun beating down on his back, which had been laid bare by the struggles he had returning from the veld. He slowly dragged his aching body to the bar, and with great strain, he pushed the doors open and fell on the floor. The patrons, at this early hour, there were not many looked on in amazement.  First to speak was bartender Piet Canella, "Lord forgive us, I never thought to see the day when you returned Malik," he said as he studied the figure on the floor, "We thought you were dead in the veld. You realize you being in town, will come to the notice of Chris Malcolm." Malik Johanssen replied, "Believe me, Piet, I am the least of his concerns. I heard some bad news on the radio at Welkom station before I set off for here. I know you didn't like me, but can I have a drink of water at least, Piet, the sun is baking, and it's hours since I had a drink." Piet t...

None of my stories are motivated by my views. From the start, let me point out that at the moment, none of my stories are motivated by my views on politics , religion , or any other matters of personal opinion. The exception is my award-winning ebook   which is written with my disdain for celebrities in mind. As the writer, I  can only tell you how I intended the story to be read if you read anything in my work that I did not plan that is not my fault.

The more platforms Draft2Digital merge, the less impact I make. With Draft2Digital merging with Hoopla this week, that means I now have 35 e-books for sale on eight platforms, not including Amazon , and I still cannot sell 10 ebooks a month. The more mergers D2D get involved with, the less impact I make as a writer; it's like a paintbrush, the further from the start the paint goes, the thinner the coverage becomes.  I don't think I will add my selection to any more mergers. I know some of my former colleagues would say, "The more coverage you have, the better the sales possibilities you can take up." Here is the equation -  35 x 8 = 280 possible sales per month. My value is ONE sale a month if I am fortunate this year.

Two linked romances. My two ghost stories  Amelia   and  The Lost Years  could be read as two parts of the same romance, or as two separate short story romances .  Amelia is based on the life of a nurse who died trying to rescue a child during the Bristol blitz during World War 2 .  The Lost Years is based on the many ghost sightings that occurred in Leicestershire , and still happen, since the end of World War 2.  At one time, I did consider rewriting Amelia as a modern ghost story. The building that was the hospital in the story has been a hotel for more than three decades, it would have made an exciting project to bring the ghost into this era.  One point of historical interest, the nurse who Amelia is based on, died when the ground floor collapsed and trapped her in the basement, her body has never been recovered.