Here I am at the edge

On a distant planet You may have read about the enormous successes with my series Forgestriker  but where did I get my ideas from? If you follow this link    https://disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/how_did_my_bestselling_series_begin/ , you will get an idea of how I got the story started.

Mission Impossible It takes a lot to knock Forgestriker off the top, but it can be done    https://disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/this_morning_months_bestseller/ .  I am as pleased that other books are selling, as I am at the sales figures for the month.

I am just a lonely blogger now. Along time ago, I gave up my dream of being a published author; that is why I became a self-published writer .  After more than a decade of attempting to get a publisher to take an interest in my writing ability, I have only achieved one thing, that is to enforce my original thoughts of the time I began this journey. To succeed, you need money, of which I have none to spare for publicity.

Vampires are creatures of the dark, not sex symbols. Forget  Twilight  disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/twilight/ , my vampires    disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/vampires/   are closer to the original concept of    Nosferatu    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nosferatu .   Since the advent of  Hammer Horror  in the 1970's, people forget that the vampire was initially seen a hideous creature of the night, not a sex symbol.

It's been a long time since I sold ten e-books in one month. Don't ask me when the last month I had ten sales was? I have no idea, it was sometime in 2016 if I remember. This month for the first in a long time, the    Forgestriker series sold ten copies.  It is a long way from hoping to sell ten of one e-book in a day (my original goal), even with the numerous links on    https://www.draft2digital.com/book/32929   I rarely sell more than one e-book a week, mo fault of the site.

Banned Books There is no reason I can think of. other than I never thought I could write a sex story, why I hadn't. I am not a prude, I have written romantic stories before, usually the sexual element in my stories is part of the larger story, not the main part - however - that changed with two of my ebook selections    https://www.draft2digital.com/book/ (unintentionally). The Love of the Sea  and its extended version A Sailor's Love have been banned on several sites for being too sexually explicit, I suppose they are, but I didn't use any vulgarity in the stories. The other sex story I wrote started out as a hospital romance with a sexual element, Sexual Explosions is not as explicit as the ones I mentioned as it is more of a romance .

The mysterious woodlands  An unknown talent of mine is as a cook. In this post -   disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/the_search_for_fairy_rings/#disqus_thread   you can see how mythology and cookery can intertwine.

In the sky with Forgestriker. My bestselling science fiction series is still flying high after four years on sale, something must be good with my writing   https://disqus.com/home/channel/indieworld/discussion/channel-indieworld/when_you_are_hot/ .

Foreign films Whenever I can, I prefer to buy the DVDs of films and series on TV I enjoy, but it is not always possible as I watch a lot of international programs , and getting subtitled movies is hard. So, I am forced to download some of my films through various torrent sites; the worst TV to download is German as they do not do English subtitles. The lady on the cover of my new ebook (shown above) is a Belgian lady I have seen in several series from Belgium .

Military courts should deal with military matters. I realise this post  -    https://disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/i_did_what_i_was_paid_to_do_and_now_i_get_condemned_for_doing_my_duty/   will be controversial, what else would you expect from me. I am a man of strong opinions, and they often raise tempers. I have, and always will, said that the Armed Forces should be left to deal with their own issues. You cannot try a person put in a life-threatening situation by people whose lives are never put in that position.

The uncertainty remains. I am re-opening my blog , even though I am not certain it is the correct thing to do; one of the reasons is to attempt to promote my page on Disqus    https://disqus.com/home/channel/indieworld/ .

The curtain has fallen. This morning, I decoded not to write any more blog posts, which raised the question, will I stop writing ? The reason for this is that at the moment I am in a deep hole with my life and I see no way out of this depression that has me in its grip. 

My disability. Although some of my most read blogs are about my medical history, I do not intend to use these pages to chronicle my growing confinement, unless asked to, one reason is it is not fun to read. Another reason is it is hard to write a page when I can tell you what is happening in a few sentences, much like my story writing, I am a man of few words.

If I felt appreciated I would continue In these days when I struggle to write, I find it hard to believe that I once wrote 10,000 words a week for several months. True, it did take its toll as my friends were worried I was going to have a breakdown as I couldn't go two days without writing. THE WALL How things changed three years ago when I realized no matter what I did, I was unable to force sales for my stories. The early days of my struggle were hard, but the longer I went on, the easier it became not to write. For years I was plagued by a multitude of ideas, to the extent, they stopped me from sleeping.  It was at this point I decided to mentally block the thoughts, a process I have now mastered, not that sleep is easier to come by.

Motivation needed I may not be writing any award-winning stories or bestselling Science Fiction series, but I am trying to find some motivation to carry on with my writing.  Last year was hard on me, both as a writer , and a person. I need to put the past behind me and move on.  In time, I hope to find the motivation to write again as I once enjoyed  https://hereiamattheedgeblogspotcouk.wordpress.com/2018/02/07/in-time-all-things-come-to-pass/ .  I am still fighting the battle with my disability    https://disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/on_being_disabled/ , and I will until the Lord tells me otherwise.

I hope my fortunes will change soon   https://hereiamattheedge.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/what-am-i-worth.html#.WncXhKhl_IU

A Sci-Fi bestseller To some fellow writers, I am viewed as a bestseller in the realms of Science Fiction . No matter how hard I try, I can never see myself in that mold, read this link    https://disqus.com/home/discussion/channel-indieworld/will_i_see_myself_as_other_people_do/#disqus_thread   to find out why I will never believe myself to be that good.

There is no need to pay. From now on, I will be writing on here, nowhere else. The reason is FREE READING sites are giving away my ebook content as if if they were sweets, so it is my loss. If you have a story you'd like me to write , I am open to suggestions; I have no " comfort zone, " there are areas I do not write such a anything to do with cruelty. A little rough sex is acceptable, I sometimes incorpoarate this in my sex / romance stories. To date, I have not tried sex stories, I have done several stories with sex in, but none where the sex element is the theme, not that I have anything against sex stories - my first short story which was published was a sex story, in a gentle way. I did consider writing a story following on from the end of season 2 of the Witches of East End , but I am having trouble getting in the mood for now. I don't have a comfort zone, I like gothic stories. The age before light was easily available makes for great high tension storie