One of the first groups I got to sign a cd was Dolly Varden, I mention this because one of their song titles tells how I feel tonight - The thing you love is killing you - that is true. I loved writing, but things have changed a lot in the last five years.
While a lot of people still think I have a lot to give, and the best times are in front of me if I hold on. Sadly, keeping the faith has become too hard for me to maintain.
The business end
For a long time now, I realised I am fighting a losing battle and it pains me at times. I can't afford publicity, nice covers and I can't do book signings. I'm trying to compete in the major league with at best a Triple-A pitcher.
In the past
I would never have considered doing what I am doing now; it has been several months since I last did some serious writing. In the past, going a few days would have put me on edge, but now, I don't care.
In simple terms, the changes boil down to one of two things; either I found out I'm not as good as I thought I might be at writing, or people don't care what I write - possibly both. The result is the same, why put myself out for less than the price of a third of a cup of coffee?
The bottom line
I received my latest check from Draft2Digital for my work today. For two months work, I made just over $1 a week.