Should I have been born?

 A genetic disaster

On her deathbed, my mother confirmed what I had suspected for many years; I was not wanted.

My parents wanted a girl they could mold to thier liking, and they ended up with me; this explains why I never pleased them no matter what I did until I enlisted in the Royal Air Force, and was out of thier lives for the majority of my six-years.

It also explains why my mother kept asking "When are you going back?" when I went on leave, after I'd sent a letter, and made a phone call the week before. At the time, it just appeared to be a normal thing to say to an innocent person, but in retrospect it was meant to be another way of telling me I was in thier way.