Back to normal

What is normal?

I have returned from an appointment at the doctors with the knowledge that my BP is back to normal. 

I can only put this down to a matter of supreme mind control on my part, as my life is anything but normal at the moment. 

My life has taken a turn for the worse this week with news that my right ankle is likely to give way at any time, meaning I can't go the long walks I needed for escape from feeling trapped, now I feel more trapped than I did before.

To me, normal would mean a feeling that either life has stopped being a struggle against depression, feeling I have got to a level where it no longer matters to me, or that I no longer care about living this life.

In short, only in death would my life become normal as I have so many family issues always on my mind.