Sunday, 3 January 2016

The demonic drug

A driving force
For many years, I wondered where my vivid dreams that gave my writing power and strength driven by an imagination fuelled by caffeine, or were the dreams the imaginings of a crazy mind.

The experiment
To test a theory, my friend Julia asked me to cut back on my drinking - at the time I was drinking several cups a day - cutting back has had many effects. 

I don't dream such vivid dreams anymore and over the latter part of last year, my temperament has radically calmed. Whether the calmness is caused by a lack of agitation caused by the caffeine reduction, or is due to a new sense of not caring is hard to define. 

Months ago, I cared about what I wrote and got upset if my work never sold. I realise now this is something beyond my purview if you wish to buy my work that is your prerogative and has now become a matter of little consequence to me. 

Reality check 
 Let's face a few facts, it can take me months to write a good story of many chapters filled with excitement and character building, what do I see at the end? If I'm lucky, I get about $0.60 for each e-book sold, now you can see why it no longer bothers me if I go for weeks/months without writing.

In part, I think the reduction in caffeine has calmed me down but probably a greater factor is that I came to the sorry realisation that it doesn't matter what I write. With no reputation or sales figures to be hit by bad press, I can write whatever bilge-ridden tripe I choose. 

Quote from Brendan Behan
 The only bad publicity is your obituary.

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