Thursday, 15 October 2015

Insecurities

P A Canella
Inner Demons 
Most of the people who have read about my award-winning e-book Chronicles of Mark Johnson - are aware I share many of Mark's traits - I based the character on my persona. 

There is another character in the series that I can associate with; that is his mentor P.A. Canella. I don't consider myself as the persona in the series. The original P.A. Canella was written long before the series came into my mind. 

The original Mr. Canella was written about in a short series of long-forgotten stories about a writer who wished to be well-read, and yet remain anonymous - that is the P.A. Canella I associate with myself.

Fame and Fortune
 While I am neither famous nor wealthy from my writing - I have created for myself a good reputation in the world of science-fiction - with the mass sales of my popular series (Forgestriker).

 People will tell you that fame and fortune can change people. At first I told myself it wouldn't change me, but it did. 

 I never became arrogant, or boastful; that isn't in my nature. The popularity of the series made me more insecure than I already was. It is true, 21 months after I launched the series with Sons of Baal, I can't believe this is happening to me. 

 When I started out, close friends told me that I was getting better with each story I sent them. This praise in itself was worrying to me, if I were getting better that quickly I was worried, I'd let them down at some point, and the higher you climb, the further you fall.

 To some people, I'm considered a moderate success story. One Canadian friend told me that in Canada, I'd be considered a bestseller.  In my eyes, I'm not a success, not because I expected more sales but because so many of my other books never sold. I wish to be considered as a writer, not a genre writer. 

Until the beginning of 2014, I was recognized as a writer of short ghost stories. I had stories likened to the works of Poe, Lefanu, and M.R. James


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