I'm not the Grouch
Each year I try to get in the festive mood for the family, and every year, I fail.
The Little Matchstick Girl
I put part of my problem down to the film The Little Matchstick Girl http://www.online-literature.com/hans_christian_andersen/981/ making a significant impact on me as a child. When I hear all the belly-aching by modern children about not having the most up to date apps, or that the gifts they have they don't like. I keep thinking of the story of the girl who had to sell matchsticks to pay for her food, and her fear of going home and being beaten for not selling the last one. This film should be shown on Christmas Day, not the latest CGI-ridden sci-fi film by a multi-million dollar company, riddled with stars who've never known poverty.
This year, my family is set to repeat a Christmas we had ten years ago. Ten years ago, we had so many debts we couldn't pay our bills, and we were given a #charity parcel by the local school. This year, we are relying on a charity to help us pay off a bank card as we are only just covering the charges.
One wish that I wish more than anything I wished I could have fulfilled is that of my late friend, Faye, in #LacLaBiche. All she wanted was to spend one Christmas with me, but the Lord took her on December, 5th, 2009.
Faye was a lovely lady, and I still miss her every night when I go online, through all her pain she never let it show. I would have given ANYTHING to grant Faye her wish.
I used to enjoy watching the shows from the children's hospitals on TV at Christmas, a lot of people forget that life goes on, and hospitals and other services need to be maintained over Christmas.
The joy of joys the time has come. All the time my parents were alive, I never got what I asked for. It wasn't that I asked for expensive, or exclusive gifts. All I asked for was a book, or a record token - what did I get? Ties, shoes and shirts year in, year out.
During my days in the Royal Air Force, when I went back on leave the first question I got asked was, "When are you going back?"
At the time, I thought nothing of it, but in retrospect, it has come to mean so much more - "We can't wait to see the back of you."
The week before I would return, I sent a letter confirming my plans. The day before I left, I would phone them to let them know I was on my way in the morning - so why the question?
It took ages for the dime to drop - I wasn't blind to what was going on - it wasn't until I saw how other people's family dynamics worked that I realized I was missing a fundamental element - love.
Sure, I would get nice things, but it was all show. They got things to show off to the neighbour. Until my mother died last year, I spent my life being compared to either the boy next door or my cousin Annette.
This year is the worst of all, not only because the family needs charity to pay our bills again, but because there is a cat-snatching ring in the area. In the last month, two of our cats have been taken, making it four from our street.
Smudge is very special to me, since her return from my daughter's, we've formed a stronger bond of friendship than we had when she was a kitten. I was heartbroken earlier this year when I thought I'd lose her after she had an accident(?). She didn't stop bleeding for several days, only small amounts through her nose, but constant.
Lily is a family favourite with her soft fur and large orange eyes. Whoever is taking the cats is destroying families, and the cats will never be happy - they know they are not in their #ForeverHome, not only are the humans unhappy but our furry friends are.
Our big fear is that Midnightwill be next, he's so trusting it wouldn't take a lot to snatch this tiny friend. Some of his antics can be read in the book by http://thepeacockwriters.weebly.com/.