My world of Google
"Never get out of the Goddamn boat!" "Not unless you're going all the way." Two quotes from Capt. Willard in the film Apocalypse now.
Two relevant quotes for how I feel at this moment in time.
Never get out
This doesn't refer to my leaving the site Bookrix, my leaving that place was as foretold as the winter nights being long, and cold. I spent the last months on the site defending myself against an endless series of cyber attacks - believe me, bullying isn't only done to children in school.
In this case, I refer to my decision to try and sell my work. While I was writing for fun, I enjoyed the writing immensely. As soon as I decided to write for money, things changed and I wasn't happy, that showed in the downtrend of my output. Where once I was commended on my prolific out, now I find it hard to write.
Going all the way
I left the group, to try and make my headway, rather than being dependent on the support of writers many considered my inferior. That wasn't my view; that was what people told me then, and even now.
I was looking at some old posts to try and get some insight of my time online. After viewing posts from a few years ago. The thought occurred to me that I've fought this battle for over five years. I don't see the fight getting easier - if anything, the fight for sales is getting harder. I keep being told it can take ten years to get recognised; I don't think I can hold out that long.
This system sucks, and I don't only mean Google. If you read my blogs, you'll realise that I came to various conclusions. One conclusion is that with all my connections via Twitter, Tumbl'r, and Google I have a little faith - in the internet - an example is this post, although there are countless connections on G+, only one person will push the post for me.