Saturday, 9 May 2015

Becoming invisible

Going off line

My time has come
Off line 
 Over the past two years, I have constantly fought a battle with my inner self. A battle which at times I thought I may have a chance to win, but in the end my inner self won. The battle was to remain on line with decreasing interest in my former hobby - writing. 
This month I came to the conclusion, there is no point in continuing the struggle, at some time in the near future I will stop blogging, the blog will remain active- I have friends who I allow to use it.
The days are longer, when I don't write. At first it was hard not to write, as time passed it got easier, and now it's no pain not to write. I don't know what I'll do, writing has been my life for the last four years, and the hope of my days since school. In the final count, all I can say is I tried my best, and failed.

Chronicles of Mark Johnson
 The award winning story I loved to write, and at one time considered turning into a paperback version despite it having no sales I was going to write a third book in the series, but that has been shelved for eternity.

My big US hit series, which starts with Sons of Baal. This series of seven books is my crowning glory, for 15 months it has sold well, but like all good things. It has come to the end of its days. I considered turning the seven stories into an omnibus edition, and adding two extra stories. Then shelved the idea, only the first three books sold well, and the final book Caldera Awakens hasn't sold a dozen copies in a year. Even so, all these books out sold my Amazon best seller Holding Richmond.

A Sailor's Love
My last novella, a book which took 14 months to write/edit, and a book which meant more to me than Chronicles did All the time I spent writing the story, I lived the lives of the characters in the story; I felt their passions, and worries. I was so involved in the story, I could almost taste the salt on my lips. Alas, the story died, and with it, died my last vestiges of inspiration.

I know what sells, but I cannot write porn disguised as erotica/ undead stories, or fanfiction. I tried, and the books failed. I wanted to be known for my writing, not for jumping on trends. My creed is I will live, and die, by my own work, and I did. I could have made a lot of money writing fake reviews, but being a liar isn't in my blood.
With diminishing sales, and a swindling belief in my art it is a sad day to close on. I would have liked to go out at the top, that was February. 

Thank you
To the few people who bought my books, I cannot thank you too much, you have no idea what it means to a struggling writer to get ONE sale. I wish to thank the people who kept me going since October, my friends at Booktrap

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