The immortal lines said by Jimmy Cagney at the end of the film "White Heat."
In a way, that is where I feel I am now. A month with ten sales and an e-book with 25+ sales. It would have pleased me if I could sell ten of one book in a month or even ten sales from one source but I don't wish on miracles any more -- too many lies -- and not enough hope left.
I know ten sales is pathetic when you read about book deals, film deals and contracts and I keep being told by Julia, "Don't read other people's success stories." It is hard not to read them these days. That's one reason I am only in The Peacock Writers group on FB and even among friends I feel second class.
My success is to many of the writers I know a bad month. They think selling less than 30 a month is bad. I have sold that many in three years.
I achieved some of my goals and yet I feel empty. One goal I can never get back is to be back in the top 200 ghost story anthology writers on Amazon -- because owing to a lack of sales -- I have left the site. My books are still out there but I won't be adding to them. Should you wish to buy my work it is @ https://www.draft2digital.com/book/
It has been conjectured that I may be bipolar, people think I have violent mood swings and can go from happy to sad in a blink -- wrong -- I am just ticked off reading about "Indies who made it big." When you haven't got a lot, a little means a lot.
To me, this Sci-Fi contest is linked to Butch & Sundace. Which part I am not sure. Whether the final scene when they are out of hope and the rush out into the gunfire, or the scene when they are trapped on a cliff and have to jump to safety.
They always tell ya,"Go out at the top kid!"
My top is other people's failure rate LOL