Monday, 8 July 2013

Haunted and now taunted

The dream started with a book from the school library called "The Silver Sword," I was enraptured by the power of the words of the writer; the story set in war ravaged Warsaw tells of the struggles of three children to find their parents, it took me over 25 years to finally read it. The book wasn't hard to read or long, I lost track of it for many year.

 From those early days I wondered could I have the power to enchant the readers to that degree; life went on and passed me by.

 It wasn't until I became disabled that I found the time to write again, having put the pen down in my youth; in 2011 encouraged by close friends I embarked upon a series of stories which I hoped may give readers something new and exciting to read. 
Chronicles of Mark Johnson & Pat Canella emerged on the world; Chronicles as the few readers know was borne out of my loathing of the celeb scene and their disregard for cameramen and women and Pat was the result of a play on words with a unisex name. 

  For a long time MJ held his own with his few fans as did Patti, Chronicles won an award in October 2012   but neither book sold well. The recently released book 2 of the four book set may well follow this trend. 

 I had a dream of making a few pounds a month, not a great deal for the hours spent grafting the book but that failed to come to fruition. I realised this was what I wanted to do early on, but I never imagined I would need to fight the porn industry to get a few sales. 

 Two years of a ten year siege are gone and I feel defeated; already driven to give weeks and months of work away as nobody cares, I ask myself can I go on to the end? 

 To be honest I have taken note of the books which sell and come to the conclusion, I am unable to write what sells and thereby unable to sell even for a small penury.  Of the things this period has taught me the main ones are writing won't sell, no matter how good you are and if you stick a zombie, half naked body or get a well known person to endorse you book, they are all going to help you.

 Try for originality  and no money for publicity and you end up like me, a mouthful of broken dreams tasting of ash. 

 I have had a few good times and made some good friends on line and to those I will forever be grateful for the support and help I received. 

 I sit at my laptop wondering where to go and what to do? 
 Taunted by shelves of books which I may now have time to read, the dream which appeared in my sights is now drifting away on the horizon. 

 I had planned a short sabbatical at the end of the month, as I need to re-focus my thoughts, this may now be extended to a long lay off from writing - not that I will be missed

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