Tuesday, 31 July 2012

The end of a love affair.

The lovely cover for a book that wont be wrote, done by my great friend Angela Priest.

Yes, you read that right but it isn't a scandalous admission of infidelity.

Fifty years ago, I fell in love with the written word, books became my friends as I was shy and introverted. I would devour the pages and dream of being a writer, the dream was kept alive for all those years. Never knowing if my stories would be enjoyed by other people, I never let people read them until July 2011, when three great friends convinced me to let them see some.

Reluctantly, I agreed and was amazed that Ruth, Hazel & Mary enjoyed the stories. This led to me moving on and starting the first of a short series of stories about a shy author called P A Canella. After success with these stories I saw the opportunity to write the Chronicles, I was watching a "reality show" and the presenter was complaining about the heat in the desert NEVER did she think of the poor camera crew, as is the case in most TV shows, these hidden people who bring you the shows are neglected.

The success of Chronicles of Mark Johnson with my friends and the growing on line fan base lead me to try an experiment in sales, the end result is yesterday. On line success DOES NOT mean you have any chance of sales UNLESS you have good publicity or plug all the trends. I am sorry but I cannot live with myself if I sold out, I know to many this is an out-dated philosophy but I have to face myself in the morning knowing I sold books because people wanted to read MY WORK not my version of somebody else.

Today, that dream appears so hollow as I sit in what used to my writing area. A true misnomer as I haven't been able to write for weeks and don't know when I will. I have half written stories on my laptop that will probably never get done now and the ones that do, will be for friends to read. I sit surrounded by my one-time friends who now mock me, pointing out my failed experiment.

There is a mass of ironic turns worthy of one of my stories :-
Fran Lewis wrote a marvellous review of Chronicles for me, thank you so much Fran. I am sorry that your wish to find out more about Mark will not be fulfilled as nobody else but my close friends care about the book.
Last night I was asked to join Author U on LinkedIn by a lady doctor who said they would be honoured to have me-WHY?  I can only think my record of helping others has been helpful as my books don't sell.

I will keep this blog running to help my friends but Alan's book store will close its doors. It has been well read but not resulted in sales, I can see no point in keeping it going as I am not sure when or if I will add to the collection there. Most of my stories will now be available just from me.

Was it a self-fulfilling prophecy? It failed because I didn't believe it would succeed.
Did it fail because I tried to get something that was beyond my reach?
Did it fail because I didn't use the hard sell?
Or did it fail because I gave so much to helping friends and neglected myself?

If the last one, then I am happy to continue helping others.

WHAT I cannot understand.
I have heard from friends (who I trust) and from people on sites and FB groups that their BOOKS costing $10+ are selling well. When my ebooks for 1/10th the price don't sell at all. I have been told that the market is depressed and books are not selling. SO, are these people telling the truth? Or trying to convince us they are selling. Friends, I believe. Others-???????????

For the first time in all these years books leave me cold.

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